


your beauty shines yet untouchable you remain

by RMB27



Series: Heavy Is The Crown, Heavy Is The Heart [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 12:29:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12132528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RMB27/pseuds/RMB27
Summary: It is said that when Ferelden throws feasts; the Maker hears it and blesses it. But, what feast would Cailan have to throw for the Maker to hear him?





	your beauty shines yet untouchable you remain

**Author's Note:**

> A:N// I have a lot of feelings about Cailan and Anora, so here we are. 
> 
> This is an AU where Alistair is recognized as King Maric and Queen Rowan’s son because Rowan was alive and well when Fiona gave her Alistair (also want to write an AU fic about that), Anora doesn’t want to be queen due to everyone’s overbearingly annoying expectations, managing to end the arranged marriage before it even begins; and Cailan is lost as what to do with his kingship and raising his little brother. Especially when he’s very much in love with his best friend.
> 
> Alternate universe, people. A girl can dream.
> 
> Also, to keep note, I kept that age difference of 9 years between Cailan and Alistair from the books, so I know most of us are used to the 5 years, but this is an AU, and yeah give me kid!Alistair and bigbro!Cailan.

 

It is said that when Ferelden throws feasts; the Maker hears it and blesses it.

King Cailan Theirin smiled as he entered the Kingdom Hall, hearing the pleasant music mixed with the harsh brash tones of his soldier's voices was soothing to his ears.

He found himself being welcomed as his men threw their arms around his soldiers, dragging him to a table and placing a big pint of Ferelden's best ale in front of him.

He laughed as they pounded their fists on their table, roaring how great the victory was today. His men re-enacting the whole scene of the slaughter of the ogres was a spectacle that drew a crowd and a circle around the golden king. The sound effects and the ale that spilt was a sign that everyone in the Kingdom Hall was in high moods.

Cailan thanked his men when they finished the dramatic yet comedic skit, and he saluted his mug to them which they saluted back with rambunctious laughter and a yell of, "Bring the women in!"

That's when the feast truly began.

The hall began to fill in more with the gorgeous women that served Ferelden: from noblewomen to servant girls, it was enough for the men to keep themselves occupied. Their blood still pumping with adrenaline from the victory, and Cailan smirked a bit before downing his drink.

He spotted one of his best friends sitting in front of the roaring fireplace, laughing at whatever quip his lady friend whispered in his ear. Fergus Cousland looked up and their eyes met. Cailan grinned as Fergus lifted his mug towards his direction, giving Cailan a silent toast.

Cailan returned the gesture.

Fergus got up then, excusing himself from the pretty Antivan lady that Cailan was definitely going to ask about. It wasn't everyday that Ser Fergus Cousland gave a woman his attention.

Fergus's boisterous voice boomed as he approached his king. Happily, he threw his arm around Cailan and Cailan chuckled at how tipsy his friend already was.

"Tell me how you've managed to escape doing that shitty re-enactment yourself." Fergus groused, loud enough for the rest of the men to hear. In good spirits, the men booed at Fergus and threw scraps of food at the man.

Cailan pushed Fergus's arm away, and he stole Fergus's drink and downed it himself.

"Tell me about that lady friend of yours, and I'll tell you my secret." Cailan shot back, shoving the empty mug towards his friend.

Fergus laughed and he sighed, contentedly, his gaze returning to where the Antivan beauty sat, her melodic laughter reached the two men's ears as they both watched her talk to other men and women who decided to keep warm.

"Nothing much to tell." Fergus simply stated, his smile telling a different story. Cailan didn't pry as he rolled his eyes and relaxed in his seat. The roughhousing of the night was starting to begin and another circle was forming, leaving Cailan and Fergus in the middle of it all.

Cailan started to feel the effect of the drinking as he lazily relaxed in his seat, his head to the side. He had meant to only show up for a moment, but the effect of the feast was starting to take a toll on Cailan, especially now that he gets to relax.

Yet, the reminder of a certain little brother made Cailan slowly sit up, ready to excuse himself.

Soft hands began to massage his neck, and Cailan felt soft lips against his ear.

"Congratulations, Your Majesty." A seductive purr whispered in his ear. Cailan noticed in the corner of his eye an amused Fergus who politely turned his direction to the roughhousing in front of him.

Cailan smiled as a woman stepped into his view and onto his lap. It was one of his favorite servant girls of the week. A new girl who wasn't afraid to put herself out there, and well…on him.

"Hello, Lara. Enjoying yourself this evening?" Cailan asked, politely his grey gaze staring ahead rather than at the deliciously dressed woman on him. He knew that this certain servant girl was more than willing to serve as a distraction and a treat, but Cailan's victory high was starting to come into a lull.

"I'm just starting to." Lara teased, nuzzling her nose against his neck and Cailan began to trace a pattern on her smooth thigh, the contrast of his rough skin against hers started to darken his thoughts and his blood started to pump adrenaline once more. He could grab a quick snog in the hall or one of the many storage rooms...

That's when he saw a flash of light brown hair come into view as he felt a pair of arms wrap around his leg.

In that moment, he saw one man being pushed into his direction, about to harm-

Cailan bent down, ready to push Lara out of the way need be. He saw a boy looking up at the burly men, seemingly cowering a bit at how close they were.

That's when he found himself staring into familiar ice-blue eyes.

"...Anora?" Cailan whispered, surprised.

The golden woman's presence seemed to crash down on him. The questions began in his thought process: How was she here? When did she get here? Why was she here?

It was enough for him to stare blankly and stupidly at the woman.

Anora was huddled over the little brother who Cailan had been thinking about moments earlier, her arms wrapped around the shaking boy. She pushed her arm against the men, and they managed to keep their balance, although they did stumble a bit in surprise.

Anora blinked, and she turned her attention away, breaking the gaze that Cailan was intent on keeping for more than just a moment.

The roughhousing stopped, and the silence was heavy as the men and women realized that someone almost got hurt.

That someone happening to be the Crown Prince.

And the beloved Lady Anora Mac Tir was more than ready fight anyone who would dare lay a hand on the boy. The Kingdom Hall was silent now, and everyone seemed to have paused their conversation, trying to see and overhear.

"Alistair, that was dangerous. What were you thinking?" Anora sighed, pulling the boy up as he wrapped his arms around her instead, burying his head in her dress.

Alistair didn't answer as she forced him to look at her, her hand gently directing his face to look up at her. He looked at Cailan, and Cailan felt his heart clench at the sight of his younger brother's hazel eyes.

Cailan looked up then, and Anora had followed Alistair's gaze but instead of looking at Cailan, she was looking at Lara, her cool gaze not betraying anything but Cailan knew her too well.

Too well that it hurt him.

The disappointment in her gaze as she looked back at Alistair made Cailan want to defend himself.

Cailan forced himself to move then. He pushed Lara off his lap, gently, and she more than compiled, a little bit taken aback by what was going on.

Cailan got up and made his way to his brother, bending down to face him. Alistair hesitantly unwrapped his arms around Anora and he let Cailan grab his forearms. Fergus took control then, coughing a bit and waving the men and women off to continue what they were doing.

Everyone seemed to take the hint, and the crowd respectfully continued to drink and play music, the circle disappearing as everyone moved away from the royal

"Hey." Cailan greeted, softly.

Alistair simply shifted his feet, his gaze downcast.

"I was going to see you, you know." Cailan offered, lamely.

Alistair looked up then, and Cailan noticed the hurt in his brother's eyes.

"But you didn't." Alistair replied back, the sarcastic tone in the nine year-old's voice made Cailan flinch a little.

"Alistair, don't be like that." Cailan sighed, apologetically.

Alistair didn't say anything as his bottom lip began to quiver.

"I had to make an appearance here, Alistair. Remember? I have responsibilities-"

"That you have to take care of. I get it." Alistair interrupted, finishing his brother's explanation, bitterly.

Cailan grasped Alistair's chin then, forcing his brother to look at him.

"I'm sorry that I didn't see you sooner, Alistair. I really am...I just needed some time to myself, do you understand?" Cailan explained, tried to, but Alistair didn't seem to understand as he shrugged half-heartedly.

Anora bent down then, and Cailan's heart stopped beating for one second.

Maker, how long had it been since he had seen her last? He was going to kill the bastard who didn't let him know that she was coming. Yet, then again, Anora has always done whatever she well pleased. Her showing up out of the blue shouldn't be a surprise to him.

Yet, here he was. His stupid heart acting like this was the shock of the century.

"Alistair, your brother does love you, but a king always has to take account of the matter of appearances. He won himself a victory with his men, and remember what you've learned?" Anora's soothing voice brought chills down Cailan's back.

Maker.

"A king shows love for his people by seeking his people." Alistair stated, as if reading

Alistair faced Anora then, and he sighed and nodded, smiling softly at her. Cailan understood why Anora's words were better than his. Anora knew what to say to Alistair; she's the one who knew how to speak his brother.

Something he lacked in since he sat on their father's throne.

Anora looked at him then, and Cailan saw the knowing look on her face as she nudged Alistair to turn to his brother.

Alistair hesitated, but he squared his shoulders just a bit and Cailan couldn't help but smile a little at that.

"I'll be going to bed now...but you have to promise me something." Alistair stated, adamantly.

Cailan agreed, a little too eagerly, hoping to be forgiven, "Anything, what is it?"

Alistair glanced at Anora, who gave him an amused smile. He took a deep breath and his chin jutted out a bit, "We get to spar tomorrow."

Cailan paused. Then, he laughed, placing a large hand atop of his brother's head.

"I promise." Cailan sighed, happily, pulling Alistair into an embrace. Cailan softened at the sound of his brother's laugh against his shoulder.

"I love you, Alistair. You know that, right?" Cailan whispered against his brother's soft hair.

Alistair nodded, and when he pulled back, Cailan was relieved to see the anger and despair gone from those warm eyes.

Alistair turned to Anora and Cailan had almost forgotten she was there, and the reminder that she was managed to stop his heart every damn time.

"I'm going to ask Eliana to put me to bed, Ana." Alistair stated, and placed his hands on her face. Cailan fought down a small spark of jealousy as he saw Alistair easily place a kiss on Anora's forehead before he bounded off.

Anora sighed as she stood up and smoothed down her skirts. Cailan followed suit, and he found himself awkwardly not knowing what to do now. He had went from being a relaxed, confident king to a frightened, nervous teenager.

All because of the woman in front of him.

It truly had been awhile since he had seen Anora. She had left the castle about a month ago, something in Gwaren demanding her attention. She had been frustrated, ranting and raving to him about her overbearing father. She had wanted to ensure Alistair's education, yet Loghain had wanted her to ensure Gwaren's prosperity.

Her long, blonde waves cascaded down her back and yet the front was braided away from her face, and she was only wearing a simple dark blue dress that contrasted against the smooth, pale skin. The warm light of the fire made her shine, especially those pale, blue eyes that always seem to know everything.

Maker, she was so beautiful.

She faced him, and Cailan found himself clenching his fists, trying to steady himself from being even more stupid than he probably already was.

"He really wanted to see you, Cailan." Anora sighed, taking a step towards him.

One more and Cailan was sure he was going to burst into flames; Maker, take him.

Her face was tilted a bit up, those eyes searching his own. He watched as she crossed her arms, her bosom rising a bit.

Was she trying to kill him?

Anora sighed with a shake of her head, "But, I know that it's important to join the men. You being their leader and all."

She laughed a bit then, short yet warm, "You have my warmest acclaims, Cailan. Truly." The sound of her laughter was as if the Maker decided to bless Cailan right then and there.

Cailan rubbed the back of his neck, sheepishly.

Anora raised an eyebrow at him, curiously, "What?"

Cailan didn't know what to say. Instead, his foolish mouth blurted, "What are you doing here?"

Anora seemed to be a bit taken aback by that, but she smiled in amusement, leaving Cailan wanting to run into the fire.

"Did no one tell you? I've arrived as soon as you had left to go fight. Granted, my father wasn't happy about that, but I was not about to leave Alistair by himself." Anora stated, a bit pointed at him.

He ignored the annoyance of not knowing she was here. If he knew, he would've fought the ogres quicker-that's when he remembered that Fergus got all the correspondence from Denerim.

Fergus and his annoying persistence in protecting him.

Cailan sighed, realizing that there's no use in relishing on that fact, "You know I wouldn't leave him alone. He has Eliana and-"

"He doesn't have his family, Cailan. As much as he may consider his servants family, at the end of the day, they are his servants, who are paid to serve him. You and I both know this." Anora pointed out, poking her finger at his chest.

Cailan could smell a faint scent of roses.

Cailan looked down, apologetically. He didn't know what to say, but when she placed a hand on his forearm, Cailan looked up in surprise.

Anora tilted her head, a small encouraging smile on those pale pink lips that he found himself constantly thinking about when he was with any other woman.

Any other woman but her.

Anora, smiling and laughing, it was something that he knew he, and Alistair, only had the chance to see. To everyone else, she was cordial. A careful smile and laugh here and there, something that made noblemen fall and noblewomen awed; that's what made Anora Mac Tir beloved by all.

Yet, if they could truly see Anora in this light, Cailan knew that men and women would kill in her name.

As he would.

"I hope you know I understand, Cailan. I know that this is hard, and I'm finished trying to keep my father at bay. If he doesn't want me to be here, he will have to learn that I can make my own decisions." Anora explained, bringing Cailan back to the present.

That stilled Cailan.

"What are you saying?" Cailan dared asked as he noticed her smile turned into a playful smirk.

"I've decided that I'm going to move back here. You need me more than ever, admit it." Anora sighed, her hand pulled back from him and Cailan wanted more than ever to grab it.

He resisted.

He wanted to focus more on her words, on what she just stated.

Then, he couldn't help it.

He smiled wide and he wrapped his arms around her, ignoring the warning of his heart.

Anora giggled softly, only letting him hear how sweet of a person she really could be.

Only him.

She wrapped her arms around him and she sighed, content.

"I've missed you, Cailan."

Cailan didn't say anything back at first. He found himself unable to trust the words coming out of his mouth.

"And I you." He managed to force out, his nose buried into her golden hair.

He wanted to stay here, just like this. Something that he could selfishly keep for just a moment.

But, he had to let go as he found her grip slowly loosening.

Anora rolled her eyes at him when he tucked a stray hair in the shell of her ear, swatting his hand away.

Cailan tried to hide his disappointment. The moment was over too soon.

"So, I should take my leave. Your new toy doesn't seem all too pleased with me taking your time." Anora suggested, her smile all too knowing and her laugh all too sharp.

Cailan didn't know what she was talking about until he noticed that Lara had been sitting patiently in his chair, having a conversation with Fergus. He noticed that she had been staring at them, trying to seem like she was busy when she obviously wasn't.

That frown proved it.

That also explained Anora's little sassy remark.

Cailan turned to face Anora once more, but he noticed she was already gone. He found her talking to the Antivan woman Fergus was with.

Anora snuck a glance at him then, and Cailan felt his heart stop once more.

She smiled, that smile he knew all too well. The smile she had when she convinced him to skip his lessons to join her in running into the forest to search for ogres. The smile she had when she managed to steal a whole bottle of ale and snuck it up onto the top of the castle where they hid. The smile she had when she managed to convince Alistair that Cailan was going to be the greatest King of Ferelden there ever was.

She returned her attention back to the conversation she was having and he noticed how everyone was starting to surround her, welcoming her.

"So, I'm guessing no more visits to the brothel?" A teasing voice asked by his side. Cailan couldn't help but chuckle sadly as he faced Fergus. Fergus sighed and wrapped an arm around Cailan's shoulders, giving him a side hug that Cailan really needed at this point.

Cailan looked to the side, wondering where Lara went.

"She said she'll be waiting for you in your chambers. I told her she shouldn't count on it." Fergus stated, amused.

Cailan shook his head and sighed. He couldn't keep his gaze away from the blonde woman who was now teasing one of the soldiers as he gave her a drink.

"Well, she is beautiful." Fergus agreed, noticing the sad yet amused look on his King's face.

Cailan watched as Anora down another drink and laugh when she managed to place the empty mug on the table.

"...Do you remember the time we climbed up that tree when we were children? You had dared me, and I was more than willing to prove it to you. Anora had called us both idiots when we were both scared to come down the tree. Instead of helping us, she actually climbed the tree, made us listen to her lecture, and taught us how to climb down the tree." Cailan said, absently.

Fergus laughed, "How could I forget? She lectured us for a good hour."

"You see, that day, I realized that she was the greatest girl I've ever had the pleasure of knowing." Cailan whispered, watching as Anora was helped up onto a table.

He watched as she twirled and danced, laughing and smiling. A beautiful mess of golden waves and swishing dark blue fabric. The sloshing of ale and the sound of merry voices enhanced the vision that Cailan worshipped.

That's when he saw a familiar man with a familiar crest join her. He watched as the man wrapped his arms around Anora, and she fell into them, blissfully happy.

It was a simple, innocent move, one could say it was because she had been drinking. Yet, the two men who knew Anora Mac Tir begged to differ. Cailan had hoped Fergus wouldn't notice, and yet...

Fergus stilled, "...Wait, when did-?"

Cailan sighed, shaking his head, a small, sad smile on his lips, "A month ago."

He remembered that day all too clearly.

She had been ranting and raving, and it had slipt out. She had placed a hand on her mouth, her eyes pleading with Cailan.

Cailan had reassuringly smiled at her and embraced her. Even when he felt like he was embracing glass.

Fergus dropped his arm, "Oh, Cailan...Is that why…"

Cailan looked up at his friend then, his grey eyes stormy, "I sent her away? You could say that. She believes it's her father who did because Loghain had insisted in lying to her, he's really a masochist when it comes to these things yet then again, so am I."

Fergus cut Cailan off by placing a hand on his shoulder, "I'm truly sorry, Cailan."

Cailan let out a sad chuckle, his gaze desperately still trying to see Anora even though his heart fought against it.

Yet, he still tried.

Her eyes met his, and he forced himself to smile as she waved a bit, still "drunkenly" in that man's arms.

He saluted her, half-heartedly. Anora smiled cheekily at that and diverted her attention back to the joyous fun.

He turned his attention back to Fergus, "Actually, it doesn't sound so bad being with Lara right now. If you'll excuse me."

Fergus stopped him by grabbing his arm, "Cailan…"

Cailan shook his head, stopping his friend from talking any further.

"She deserves her own happiness, Fergus. Even if it doesn't involve me." Cailan whispered, softly.

Before Fergus could say anything, Cailan gently pulled away from him and excused himself.

Cailan began to make his way to his room, pausing to look outside one of the open archways.

It is said that when Ferelden throws a feast, the Maker hears and blesses.

But, what feast would Cailan have to throw for the Maker to hear him?


End file.
